It takes a lot of courage to speak out about childhood abuse and I take my hat off to Esther Rantzen, who has been talking today in the Sun newspaper about her childhood sexual abuse trauma. It is essential for people to be heard and listened to when they have the courage to reach out and tell someone, like Esther, my mother brushed it off and told me that I would do anything for attention, this was when I was 15 and we drove past a road that I had not been on for years and I said ‘Fred lives there’ to which she replied, who is Fred? ‘I said the bar man who used to work for Daddy, he messed around with me when I was little’ to which she stared straight ahead, kept on driving and said, don’t be rediculous, you would make anything up for attention’!
The next time came at my Aunts 80th Birthday, I was standing in the reception with my back against a wall, my Uncle, her husband, also called Fred stood in front of me with his back to my mother and son, he ran his hands down my breasts and said ‘I can remember a time when I could do to you the things I would like to do to you now’ I froze, paralysed and then shook……….I walked away in a trance. By this time my mother was at the bar counter, I went over and said ‘Fred has just touched my tits’ to which she replied…………’don’t be rediculous’, I said ‘if you don’t listen to me I will scream this place down………..Fred has just touched me’……….to which she replied, ‘don’t say anything it is Auntie Joans birthday’…….I said it is always Auntie Joans fucking birthday as far as you are concerned.
I sat at that meal table and could barely eat, I was rocking in my chair and I felt about 5 years old and nobody listened, I could do nothing and it was a living hell……….it took me years to come to terms with what had happened and I urge anyone who is told anything like this, please listen and anyone who has anything to say, find someone to listen to you.
Thank you Esther for being so honest.